Parent, Adult, Child And the Smoking Habit
There’s a useful psychological theory by Eric Berne MD, called Transactional Analysis, which holds that at any given time we operate mentally from any one of three ego states; our Parent, Adult or Child.
Simply stated, the Parent is our internal authority figure. It draws on pronouncements derived from authoritarian figures in our pasts; parents, relatives, teachers, religion, government, law, etc. We sometimes accept pronouncements from these figures or institutions without question because of our respect for them. We as smokers have successfully blocked our Parent because we know it would tell us that smoking was not good for us.
Our Adult, guided by logic and reason, tells us the same thing, so we block it, too.
This leaves the Child – which operates solely on the pleasure principle; no conscience or concern for our safety…if it feels tastes good, feels good or even poisons us, do it! Enter the cigarette and many of the other things in our lives that may not be good for us.
Unfortunately, we’ve conveniently relegated the question of whether or not to smoke to our Child. Our task now is obvious; to wrest the entire matter of smoking from the pleasure-loving Child and place it in our Adult where it will be treated with logic and reason. It all depends on how we pose the question; if I ask myself if I WANT to stop smoking, the answer, coming from my Child, would be no. If I ask myself if I NEED to stop smoking, the answer, coming from my Adult, would be yes.
Oops….
Ignore this little brat! If we had listened only to our Parent or Adult to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Most failed quitting attempts are precisely because of this spoiled and dangerous little imp. He’ll get you while you’re down – sad or angry. Plan on it. Decide to quit and go for it. Don’t even give him or her another chance to vote on this.
You’ll lose…
…again.